Opening up: why talking matters for men’s mental health

Opening up about how you feel is often framed as weakness, yet it is one of the most courageous steps someone can take. For many men, particularly in trades, sports clubs and similar male-dominated environments, the expectation to be stoic remains strong. That pressure to hide emotions can lead to suppressed feelings, which over time may develop into anxiety, chronic stress or clinical depression — and in the worst cases contribute to suicidal thoughts.

Where silence comes from and what it costs

The cultural script that tells men to "man up" or dismiss emotional expression is still common on building sites, at the gym or in the locker room. When someone shows vulnerability, they may be mocked or marginalised by a small number of peers, which encourages others to keep problems to themselves. Bottling things up works only for so long: unresolved grief, relationship breakdowns, job loss or prolonged financial pressure can all act as triggers. Even seemingly trivial events can become tipping points when they pile up.

Practical places to get confidential help

If talking to a friend or family member feels too difficult, there are reputable services that offer confidential information and helplines. They are designed for people who need anonymity or just want to speak to someone impartial. Useful resources include the National Institute of Mental Health information on men and depression, NHS mental health helplines, and the Campaign Against Living Miserably (CALM):

• NIMH — Men and Depression
• NHS — Mental health helplines
• CALM (Campaign Against Living Miserably)

My experience of opening up

I’m writing about this because I’ve been through a period of significant change and wanted to share how putting feelings into words has helped me. I’m not at the point of needing clinical intervention, and I’ll always go to a doctor if things start to interfere with day-to-day life. For now, being honest about what I’m experiencing — writing it down, talking to trusted people — has been cathartic.

Over the last few years I’ve felt like a punch-drunk boxer; life felt relentless. Much of that strain stemmed from the breakdown of my marriage. I won’t go into private details, but the end of a partnership is one of those losses that feels like a death. You grieve, and there’s no set timetable for that process. At the same time, responsibilities don’t pause: work, family and bills keep moving forward, and you often have to find ways to carry on even when it feels impossible.

Small steps that make a difference

When everything feels overwhelming, doing anything can seem beyond reach. For me it came down to a few practical habits:

• Scheduling short, achievable goals over the next 12 months so progress is visible and tangible;
• Reaching out and talking regularly, even if it’s just a brief call or message with someone I trust;
• Allowing myself to pause and notice when I have been running on autopilot, then take small corrective actions rather than waiting for a crisis.

Writing a list and committing to small wins has helped me find direction. It’s not about enormous change overnight, it’s about steady, manageable improvements that add up.

Why openness is strength, not weakness

Opening up does not mean airing every detail to everyone; it means recognising when something is affecting you and deciding to take action. Speaking to a stranger on a helpline, a GP or a trusted friend is a deliberate choice that takes emotional strength. It’s the opposite of weakness — it’s a strategic, resilient response to difficulty.

Practical tips if you’re thinking of talking

1. Pick one person you trust and tell them you need to talk — you don’t have to start with the biggest thing.
2. If face-to-face feels too hard, try a phone call, a text or an online helpline first.
3. Set small objectives: one short conversation a week, a list of three manageable tasks, or an appointment with your GP if symptoms worsen.
4. Keep a record of what helps and what doesn’t — over time you’ll see patterns and progress.

Final encouragement and how to get support

If you are feeling low, please reach out. I count myself fortunate for a supportive network — many people do not have that, which is why external helplines and services are so important. Working alone can amplify worries; talking prevents small problems turning into big ones.

If you’d like to learn more about me and the business behind this blog, visit our About page. If you want to get in touch directly, use our contact page to send a message.

If you are in immediate danger or seriously at risk, contact emergency services straight away.

Sharing how you feel and asking for help changes things. Opening up is a practical, life-affirming step — and it’s one you don’t have to take alone.