By David Barrett
Depression revisited is not an academic phrase for me — it describes a time when everything felt heavy and progress stalled. I’m sharing my experience because this season of the year can amplify worries for many people, and to be clear: recovery is possible. If you’re reading this during a difficult period, know that someone who has been there is telling you it can and does improve.
Over the last couple of years I went through a divorce, became a single parent and kept running my decorating business. The combination knocked me off course. I lost motivation, worked on autopilot and felt dread even at the thought of viewing jobs. At home I managed to appear fine to my children, but once they were asleep my mind raced through worst‑case scenarios — worrying about money, uniforms, and what would happen if there was no work.
I didn’t immediately see a doctor, although I had supported someone through their own depression and knew how effective medical help can be. I wasn’t ashamed at the idea of asking for support; I simply reached a point where something clicked and I decided to take small, deliberate steps towards a better future for me and my children.
The change wasn’t instant. It took about 18 months of slow progress before I began to feel lighter, and I expect another 18–24 months of steady work to reach where I want to be. That gradual change matters — the earliest baby steps I took in December began to bear fruit, and by July I truly felt happiness again and able to move forward without the weight of the past on my shoulders.
I still have low moments, as we all do, but I’ve learned how to cope with them so they don’t define my life. That learning has made a tangible difference in how I show up for my work and my children.
This time of year intensifies pressures for lots of people, especially men. Emotional and financial burdens stack up: relationship breakdowns, being alone, or missing out on seeing children can be devastating. The problem is compounded by the polished images we see on TV and social media — curated snapshots that don’t reflect the whole story.
For the self‑employed, seasonal dips in work and income make the weeks around Christmas particularly stressful. Many tradespeople live week to week and rely on prompt payments; delays can push someone into real difficulty. Comments that judge how someone should have saved or criticise their financial choices are unhelpful — they ignore the complex reality many face.
If you’re feeling like there’s no way out, speak to someone. Tell a friend, a family member, a neighbour or a colleague. If talking seems hard, send a message or use a helpline. Sharing the load is the first practical step away from the edge.
Opening up can be daunting, but it’s rarely as difficult as the fear makes it seem. Let someone help you take one small step today — phone a friend, book an appointment with your GP, or contact a support organisation. There are consequences to staying silent; asking for help is brave and effective.
Professional services, local mental health teams and charities exist to help people through low points. If you’re unsure where to start, your GP can point you to appropriate services. Peer groups and online forums can also offer practical advice for self‑employed people coping with seasonal income changes.
I’ve written before about mental resilience and the small techniques that make a real difference — if you’d like to read more about mindset and managing pressure, see my post on training the mind. If you want to speak about this, or about any aspect of the business side of being self‑employed, you can get in touch or read about who we are on our about page.
There’s no tidy finish line, but there is steady improvement. If you’re struggling this season, take one small step today — tell someone, make an appointment, try something you used to enjoy. In time you’ll be able to look back and see how far you’ve come.
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